4 Strategies That Teach Motivation

Motivation is not only important for adults, but also for children. What your children learn now will impact them for the rest of their lives. Teaching children motivation; though, is a difficult concept. How do we, as parents, teach our children to be internally motivated?


All children have a different internal motivation level and all kids cannot be motivated in the same manner. There is no way for me to know what motivates the behavior of each and every child, but there are four basic strategies that can help parents teach the idea of motivation to all children:

1. Talk with them. Notice I did not say "talk TO them". When dealing with this subject, let your child do some of the talking. He/She may surprise you with what concepts or ideas he/she can come up with on his/her own. Many children do not understand the importance of goal setting and having a positive attitude. Help your child understand that choices have consequences (ask your child can come up with examples in his/her life) and that setting a goal and reaching it builds confidence and self-assurance.
2. Make it a game. The great thing about goals is that they can become game. Children love games and when you find out what motivates your child, turn goal-setting into a game. For example, if the goal is to excel in school set up a goal chart on the fridge. Make the goals attainable (don't reach for the impossible) and help your child make a chart for the next report card. When Monday folders come home, chart your child's progress on the fridge. Since grade goals are on the chart, your child child can see how he/she is doing compared to the stated goals. If your child is doing better than the stated goal, give sincere encouragement (keep reading!). If your child is performing below the stated goals, teach him/her about having a positive attitude and staying motivated.
3. Lead by example. Your child learns the most from you! If you would like for your child to be motivated about things, do the same. If you would like for your child to use goals, then use goals in your daily life. When children see you doing what you are teaching, the lessons will sink in. 
4. Give them feedback (BE AN ENCOURAGER). Children seek approval - especially from their parents. When your child does a good job or completes a task, make sure you tell him/her you noticed and are proud of the accomplishment.  Encouragement is very different than praise.  Praise goes to the "actor" while encouragement goes to the "act". For example, if your child makes a 95 on a test, you praise by him/her by saying something like "Oh, you are so smart - I'll bet you made the best grade in the class." Encouragement might sound a little more like "You must be so proud, you're extra studying paid off" or "I'll bet your teacher is proud of your hard work." Notice that praise is focused on the child "you're so smart", while encouragement is focused on the act "extra studying" and "hard work". The difference is subtle, but it's there. Communicate approval of your child's effort and attitude. Point out good choices your child makes, the thoughtfulness behind kind behavior, the patience used to put up with a meddlesome sibling - encourage the behavior (the act, not the actor).  

Online Resource for Parents

I recently stumbled upon a great parenting resource the other day while I was rereading Dr. Kevin Leman's book  Have a New Kid by Friday. (Don't tell the students, but I often have to read books two or three times to process and comprehend all of their information!). If you are not familiar with Dr. Leman, he is a well-known psychologist, award-winning author, radio and television personality, and speaker. He is a Christian who is raising five children with his wife of over 30 years and understands issues facing parents today. His books focus on improving family relationships - husband and wife, parents and children, blended families, siblings, etc... He combines practical wisdom with humor and is one of my favorite parenting experts.  


In his book Have a New Kid by Friday, Dr. Leman focuses on children's attitudes and their reasoning behind behavior. But...it's the index that is my favorite part of the book! In the index, Dr. Leman addresses parenting questions that he is asked most often. He provides helpful answers to issues such as allowance, curfews, discipline, picky-eating, sulking, and more. The index is organized by topic and is a treasure trove of parenting information. In it, he references a website www.iquestions.com - a website dedicated to providing answers to questions and values-based advice from experts in their respective fields. 


After browsing the site, I am now sending every parent I know to it! Click on the link and check it out. I particularly recommend the parenting link at the top of the page. It is full of real parenting questions and video answers from parenting experts like Dr. Kevin Leman, Dennis Rainey (the founder of FamilyLife ministries), Bob Lepine (the co-host of the radio broadcast FamilyLife Today), and Elisa Morgan (the CEO of MOPS - Mom's of Preschoolers - International). And...the best news is that you can ask your own parenting question to one of these experts and get their professional opinion for FREE! Next time you need some encouragement or parenting help, take a look at this great resource www.iquestions.com.  It is quick, easy, and full of information (and if you have a little extra time, read Dr. Kevin Leman's book Have a New Kid by Friday or you can just borrow my copy!).

3 Traits of a Successful Student

The school year is in full swing and if you're a parent like me your goal is for your child to have a successful year. But what exactly makes a student successful?  Is it grades, interpersonal relationships, an understanding of the material, or all of the above? I came across some information recently that focused on the subject of successful students and thought I'd share some of the highlights.
A student's success is not always defined by grades, standardized test scores, and awards, but the traits that make the student successful. Those are assets that will carry a student into the future - further than any report card or trophy. So what exactly are those traits? One, is a love of reading. Exposing a child to to reading at an early age is a must! Even is it's just a parent reading to a child. And believe it or not, even the big kids love being read to as well. When I go into the upper level elementary classrooms and read a book, the students are just as interested as when I am in the primary grades.  
Another important trait is a student's interpersonal skills. If a child can share, show empathy towards others, and cooperate with a group then it will guide him or her to a greater understanding of others and help him or her over hurdles that others will face in the future. Parents and teachers can emulate good interpersonal skills through modeling and "coaching".
 Last but not least, self-regulation is one of the most important traits of the successful student. Self-regulation refers to the ability to control one's behavior and choices. Obviously, this is part of parent-training. Children are not born with the ability to self-regulate - they depend on their parents. But with the help of teachers and parents, students can be "coached" to become more responsible for their choices and their school work. Adults can model self-regulation by watching their own reactions or responses to stressful situations. Plainly put, if an adult reacts in a negatively or anxiously to stress or school work, a child will most likely react the same way.    

School Year Underway

The school year is underway! Everyone is getting back into the routine of school and the hallways are busy again. I had such fun sharing popsicles and meeting all the new elementary students. It is a blessing to have new faces and personalities at Trinity School. Each new student brings a fresh perspective into the classroom and I will continue to meet with new students throughout the year to get "their take" on Trinity School.

Visiting classrooms for large group guidance activities is one of my favorites aspects of being an elementary school counselor. I have been able to visit various grade levels in the elementary and have had such fun seeing how the children have grown and changed over the summer. In all elementary grades students are focusing on learning more about their classmates. It is very important part of developing peer relationships and all guidance activities are centered on getting to know more about the boys and girls in the classrooms. Primary grades have had fun playing "get to know me" games, while upper elementary grades are taking part in peer interviews. My goal is to have students respect, encourage, and accept one another and what better way than to know more about the boys and girls who sit in class with you!

WELCOME!

The school year is about to begin! We are looking forward to a wonderful year at TPS!!!