4 Strategies That Teach Motivation

Motivation is not only important for adults, but also for children. What your children learn now will impact them for the rest of their lives. Teaching children motivation; though, is a difficult concept. How do we, as parents, teach our children to be internally motivated?


All children have a different internal motivation level and all kids cannot be motivated in the same manner. There is no way for me to know what motivates the behavior of each and every child, but there are four basic strategies that can help parents teach the idea of motivation to all children:

1. Talk with them. Notice I did not say "talk TO them". When dealing with this subject, let your child do some of the talking. He/She may surprise you with what concepts or ideas he/she can come up with on his/her own. Many children do not understand the importance of goal setting and having a positive attitude. Help your child understand that choices have consequences (ask your child can come up with examples in his/her life) and that setting a goal and reaching it builds confidence and self-assurance.
2. Make it a game. The great thing about goals is that they can become game. Children love games and when you find out what motivates your child, turn goal-setting into a game. For example, if the goal is to excel in school set up a goal chart on the fridge. Make the goals attainable (don't reach for the impossible) and help your child make a chart for the next report card. When Monday folders come home, chart your child's progress on the fridge. Since grade goals are on the chart, your child child can see how he/she is doing compared to the stated goals. If your child is doing better than the stated goal, give sincere encouragement (keep reading!). If your child is performing below the stated goals, teach him/her about having a positive attitude and staying motivated.
3. Lead by example. Your child learns the most from you! If you would like for your child to be motivated about things, do the same. If you would like for your child to use goals, then use goals in your daily life. When children see you doing what you are teaching, the lessons will sink in. 
4. Give them feedback (BE AN ENCOURAGER). Children seek approval - especially from their parents. When your child does a good job or completes a task, make sure you tell him/her you noticed and are proud of the accomplishment.  Encouragement is very different than praise.  Praise goes to the "actor" while encouragement goes to the "act". For example, if your child makes a 95 on a test, you praise by him/her by saying something like "Oh, you are so smart - I'll bet you made the best grade in the class." Encouragement might sound a little more like "You must be so proud, you're extra studying paid off" or "I'll bet your teacher is proud of your hard work." Notice that praise is focused on the child "you're so smart", while encouragement is focused on the act "extra studying" and "hard work". The difference is subtle, but it's there. Communicate approval of your child's effort and attitude. Point out good choices your child makes, the thoughtfulness behind kind behavior, the patience used to put up with a meddlesome sibling - encourage the behavior (the act, not the actor).